Tonight I caught myself tossing and turning in bed over the idea that we tend to be uneasy or unsatisfied with God's call on our lives. So much to the point that I couldn't sleep. In doing so I felt like I should write about it. For everyone who knows me, I am not much of a writer or a blogger. I tend to have a few things that I feel the need to share, but it is very rare. I also struggle with grammar and all other writing techniques so please bear with me.
Caught up in this idea I automatically thought of the passage of John the Baptizer. In the book of John, there is a situation where John the Baptizer's disciples get caught up in the fact that Jesus is becoming more popular in the ceremony of baptism. "At that time a certain Jew began an arguement with John's disciples over ceremonial cleansing. John's disciples came to him and said, "Teacher, the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you said was the Messiah, is also baptizing people. And everybody is going over there instead of coming here to us." John 3:25-26. The first thing I noticed in this, like I said before, is the fact that John's disciples were more worried about how the traffic of believers were heading to Jesus for baptism rather then heading to John and his group. John's disciples, in a way, share their feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. They feel that they are being undermined and becoming less popular.
John's response to this captivates me. John says, "God in heaven appoints each person's work. You yourselves know how plainly I told you that I am not the Messiah. I am here to prepare the way for him-that is all." John 3:27-28. He also states his call by quoting the prophet Isaiah in chapter 1. "I am a voice shouting in the wilderness, 'Preapre a straigh pathway for Lord's coming!'" John, being humble and showing a great amount of humility, says plain and simply that he is not the Messiah, but instead he is the messenger for him. He is not shaken or threatened by the idea of people heading towards Jesus. He is well established in his knowledge of God's call on his own life.
He goes on to say, "The bride will go where the bridegroom is. A bridegroom's friend rejoices with him. I am the bridegroom's friend, and I am filled with joy at his success." John 3:29. John is very well aware that people would go where Jesus is. He is not jealous of that or even the slightest bit worried. In his next statement John goes on to say that he is "filled with joy at his success". John does not show fear or resentment that Jesus' ministry is growing rapidly and that people are heading his way. Instead, he is filled with joy and shows his excitement that Jesus ministry is growing.
I feel that sometimes we get so caught up with God's call on other people's lives and seeing how he is moving so well in what they are doing that we become blind to what God has called us to do. We tend to fill up with emotions of jealousy or anger that blind us to the fact that God is at work. We also get caught up in the questioning of why God is doing something through other people rather than doing it through us.
This reminds me of another passage later in the book of John just after Jesus is talking to Peter. After Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him three times and calls him to feed his sheep, Peter turns around just after and asks, "What about him, Lord?" in reference to John. Jesus' reply is, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to You? YOU FOLLOW ME." John 21:15-22 (Emphasis Added). Peter, like a lot of us, got caught up in the moment of God's plan for John, The one whom Jesus loved, rather then his call for himself.
It is hard to admit this, but I relate very well to Peter and to John's disciples. I have seen the things God is doing through other people according to his plan and I have caught myself asking similar questions. What is Your plan for them? Why them? Why are You using them and not me? I tend to get big headed and my ego tends to come out, but I am so quickly reminded by that statement, "You follow me."
I don't know if I have dragged this on too much or watered it down or possibly swung off topic a little, but for those who are still reading and struggle with the same questions that I do, caught up in our own egos and what not need to look at John's response back in chapter 3 verse 30. John says, "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less."
Like I said before, the words of John the Baptizer captivate me. His example of being humble and showing humility ultimately shows in this statement, as well as the ones before. We should not question what God's call is for others or what he is doing through others. To be honest, who are we to question the Creator. He knows what he is doing and will continue to do it however and through whomever he pleases. And we must ultimately remember that He must become greater and greater, and we must become less and less.
All my references from the Bible are from the NLT version.
